Thank Heavens for little Girls!

I'm sure that many of you, even if you haven't been to China, are aware of the girl issue in China. The Economist ran a very informative article on this issue back in March 2010, which I will post on the blog when I finish typing up my general reactions to the issue, or you can access it through this link: (I'll still post the article, however, since the Economist may actually take down the article at some point too). China is very much a male-centered society, which only makes it more difficult for women in a lot of areas. Culturally speaking, it's more ideal to have a baby boy, mostly because it is the boy whom is responsible for taking care of his parents when they get old, and they continue the family name. This means that for several years, people were getting amnio testing to see if they were having a girl or boy, and often the girls would either be aborted, or given up for adoption. However, it's now become illegal to find out the gender of the baby prior to birth. (don't get me started on medical treatment in China, I'll have to save that for another blog). This doesn't mean that the number of girls being given up for adoption or put into something more unspeakable. Some things can also be done in China if you throw enough money at it as well, with the appropriate people looking the other way. As a result anyway, girls still tend to be given up for adoption. If you want to adopt a Chinese baby, and doesn't have a health condition or special needs, it will probably be a girl. There are boys available for adoption, but only if they have an expensive health condition, or special needs. That being said, my classes of students primarily are boy centralized. I'll be lucky in a class of 12 students to have more than 2 girls. Boys are certainly far more spoiled than the girls too. With the one child policy, nobody seems to want girls, but like I said there are even ways around the one child policy. If you have a child with special needs, you can have another child. If you live in the country and are farmers, you can have more than one child, especially if the first is a girl. And my favorite, if you live in the city, and have enough money, you can pay a fine to have a second child. This doesn't entail twins or other multiple child at the same time births. It's very rare to see twin girls in China, much for these listed reasons. It's hard at times for westerners to totally grasp this concept as well. Mostly because we've come (for the most part) to value what women do for our cultures, but that doesn't mean that women don't have any rights in China, they are just far more limited then developed countries are used to. It's also grappling to understand why someone could simply toss aside a child they planned, due to cultural fears and traditions. This goes along with what people expect from men and women in China as well. There was a young Chinese college student I was friendly with in Shenyang. I've mentioned him before in this blog. He worked for Starbucks, while he went to college to study accounting. He was originally from Dalian, which isn't far from Shenyang, about a 4 hour train ride. It's a coastal beach town. When I lived in Shenyang, I would visit him at Starbucks when he was working on the lower level, and just discuss various issues with him, from things he was doing in college, China, my work as a teacher, cultural differences, news articles, etc... He recently just finished school and has gone back to live in Dalian. He gave up a good job offer in Changchun, a smaller city that is located halfway between Harbin and Shenyang, in northern China. He did this because even though his parents are still relatively young (in their 50's) he feels obligated to take a job they found for him in Dalian, so he can be closer to them when they do get old. Chinese people don't have the same sense of changing career paths or jobs once they start working. It's not uncommon to stay at the same job for the duration of your working life (there's a government control that women retire at 50, men at 55 in China. This is actually non-negotiable, however, many older people often will do other income type jobs, like peddling fruit, vegetables or various nick-knacks on the street... a subject for another blog). Despite the cultural war on women in China, far different from the war on women in the States right now, the other thing I've noticed as a problem in China, is that now that all these king of the household boys are getting old enough and there is the mass abundance of boys the big question becomes, what is China going to do with all these boys? There's certainly not enough women in China to marry them. Sending the men to other countries is difficult, mostly because a big number of the Chinese population don't travel outside of their province, let alone to another country. This is starting to change, but if people travel in China, it's usually domestically, and it's usually not very far, and within the same province. There are those who do leave the country, but rarely will they consider immigrating to live permanently in another country. Chinese men typically don't have an appeal to date or marry women that aren't Chinese... another big problem. This doesn't mean it never happens, but it's certainly a scarce occurrence. Rarely do you see a Chinese man marry a westerner, or a foreigner (that doesn't mean some won't take a foreign mistress/lover, but the chances of them getting married is slim pickings. On the flipside, it is far more common for Chinese women to be attracted to Western men. Western men also tend to have a far bigger attraction to Asian and Chinese women, then Western women being attracted to the Asian men as well. Within the three schools I've worked for, it's not uncommon for the males and men to date around the Chinese staff pool, or Chinese women period. Some even get married. I think the women in China have far more of a desire to leave the country then men, mostly because, culturally, they don't feel as obligated to their family due to a lot of constraints on their daily life. It's rare to see women in leadership positions in China, but it does happen. Our center manager is a lovely woman who seems to be keen on what she does, and is very caring. These are some mere observations and thoughts on the process and would certainly welcome a discussion further with anyone that's interested...